Thy Royal Messenger

Send a Royal Decree.

For birthdays, grudges, apologies, and everything between.

Type what thou meanest in plain English. We make it sound medieval, seal it in wax, and post it forth.

How It Works

Three steps.

Type or Pick Thy Message

Write it in plain English, or grab a pre-written one from our Scroll Library. We turn it medieval.

Preview the Decree

See thy words rendered on parchment. Tweak the script until thou art pleased.

Send It

Digital decree arrives instantly. Printed scroll arrives in 5–7 days, postal lords permitting.

Don't feel like writing?

The Royal Scroll Library

63 pre-written decrees, ready to send. Birthdays, weddings, apologies, insults — pick one, tweak it, send it.

Enter the Library →

Thy Message Write it in plain English. We do the medieval bit. By Whose Authority (optional) Skip it, fill it in, or roll the dice for a silly royal name.

The Royal Court

King ___

Queen ___

Lord ___

Lady ___

High Council

Custom…

To — The Recipient (optional) Leave blank for an anonymous decree — the post goes by address, not name.

Recipient's Name Address Them As

None

Lord

Lady

Sir

Dame

His Grace

Her Grace

Dear

From — Thee, the Sender (optional) Or use the dice above for a silly royal alias.

Thy Name

Delivery Address Where the printed scroll gets posted.

Send my message as written — skip the old English transformation

Decree reading strangely? →

Thy Parchment Preview — choose thy script below

Mystic

Classic

Scholar

Courtier

Celtic

Alchemist

Knight

Outlaw

Blackletter

Gothic

Flourish

Thy Royal Messenger

Official Proclamation · Sealed & Delivered

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Thy decree shall appear here once thou dost press the button of transformation...

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Royal Tariffs(Pricing)

Parchment, wax seal, and shipping all included.

The Standard Decree

$8.99

Thy message transformed and dispatched with all appropriate gravitas.

Old English transformation of thy message
Printed on genuine parchment paper
Hand-applied wax seal
Sent in a flat envelope
Shipping & postage included
Delivered in 5–7 business days

✦ Shopify Buy Button ✦ Standard Decree · $8.99 · paste embed code here

The Digital Decree

$1.99

Instant animated fanfare delivered to anyone, anywhere. No postage required.

Old English transformation of thy message
Animated scroll reveal
Royal trumpet fanfare
Wax seal stamp animation
Shareable link sent instantly
No shipping — delivered in seconds

✦ Shopify Buy Button ✦ Digital Decree · $1.99 · paste embed code here

Most Regal

The Scroll Edition

$14.99

The full royal treatment — rolled, ribboned, and dispatched in a protective tube fit for a king.

Old English transformation of thy message
Printed on genuine parchment paper
Hand-applied wax seal
Rolled into a proper scroll
Tied with a decorative ribbon
Dispatched in a sturdy cardboard tube
Arrives ready to unroll with ceremony
Shipping & postage included
Delivered in 5–7 business days

✦ Shopify Buy Button ✦ Scroll Edition · $14.99 · paste embed code here

✦ Rush delivery · Add $5 · Ships within 1 business day ✦

About Thy Royal Messenger

The most unnecessarily formal postal service in the realm.

We turn ordinary messages into ridiculous medieval proclamations — birthday wishes, apologies, complaints to thy neighbour about his loud hound — printed on parchment, sealed in wax, and posted with maximum gravitas.